forever since the flowers I sent her failed to gain my eighth-grade English teacher to fall in be pleased with with me.

forever since the flowers I sent her failed to gain my eighth-grade English teacher to fall in be pleased with with me, I have always been a bit of a Valentine's Day Scrooge It's not that I am not romantic--I have written my share of "Be My Valentine" metrical compositions and bought the heart-flavored edible underwear--but like many of us, I suspect, I find it easier to just impediment this manufactured holiday pass. And to such a degree I make the case for staying place of abode with your sweetie, ordering in, and renting the video that most numerous suits your Valentine's Day penurys In no particular order, here are near of my faves.

For our gals who ne any extra sexual stimulation, I remind of Bound (1996), a wild late film noir with the luscious Gina Gershon Unlike the heroines of mostly lesbian flicks, the girls of confine actually "do it." It doesn't impair that they turn the tables forward some bad guys as well.

Gay men have a plethora of porn from which to cull but if the boys want to experience something a bit more unintentionally erotic, advance for Baby Blue Marine (1976) This is all you ne to know: A hunky Jan-Michael Vincent and a exceedingly young Richard Gere do boot-camp views You can guess the drill.

No fresh lesbian film touches the romance and sexuality of Aimee and Jaguar (2000) now available in succession video. The love story of a Jewish woman and a German (and married!) woman in World War II Berlin, it come bys bonus points for being a pure story.

Spike Lee's first feature film--and in my opinion his best--is 1986's She's Gotta Have It. Sexy impetuous Tracy Camilla Johns is chased by dint of three beefcake boys who caper through some funny hoops to earn her attention. It's 84 minutes of heteros being irresistibly adorable.

If you bring forward your romance tinged with sadness and pathos, the Kevin Bacon-directed film Losing Chase (1996) is sumptuous and intense. Helen Mirren (be still, my heart!) flirts with anger, madness, and a luminous Kyra Sedgwick, Mr Bacon's real-life wife. Might as well watch this in the bedroom and save time if you can.

Cleopatra (1963): OK ye it is drawn out and really over-the-top, but are we not homosexuals? The inventors of camp? Watch it to behold Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor trying to act (badly) like they're not cheating upon their real-life spouses behind the shows And see Roddy McDowall flame abroad so brilliantly that he makes Sean Hayes of Will & Grace appear subtle.

But perhaps you are alone this Valentine's Day. And not within any fault of your admit but because that worm of a lover of yours has finally done you a favor and mov upon Maybe a different kind of video would be more in keeping with your "romance and have a passionate affection for are for morons" mood. If you can relate, allow me to approve I Spit on Your Grave (1978) It's a subvert slasher flick that follows single in kind young woman as she methodically and creatively (read: destinys of pain and blood) exacts her vengeance upon a group of men who abused her. It is the ultimate in requital fantasies and definitely not for the squeamish or politically correct. Happy freaking Valentine's Day, everyone!

Find Suzanne Westenhoefer's official Web page abd other related Internet sites at www.advocate.com

Westenhoefer will devote 2002 on the "Banned in Pittsburgh" tour.

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