forward a recent business trip to Seattle.

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forward a recent business trip to Seattle, I was impose up in the W inn Fabulous! Whatever you like about your accommodations--the 400-thread-count pillow shams, the reading light through the whole extent of the bed, the tasteful chenille whirl on the fainting couch placed on the perfectly treated window--you can order from their in-room catalog. It was like a sleep-over in a high-end earthen ware Barn. Everywhere are little tasteful, branded W and each time I saw single I did a W-take. They gave me the willies. That pertain toed me.

Apparently, I've been driving nation crazy taking my job as Designated Bush Watcher a little too seriously. No single else seems to care. They don't want to hear it. I start talking about the latest Bush wacky idea and it's as if I've unexpectedly sprung a wicked case of middle exercise B.O.

So excuse me for harshing your sweetly flowing for stepping on your smile. I for united am trying to learn to kick back and take delight in this war. And now I've discovered that the W in George's name doesn't just stand for War. Oh no, there's a whole fate of wonderful W going upon out there.

W for women: There's that axis of estrogen around George--Matalin, Rice, and Hughes. Tom Brokaw, in his day-in-the-life White House special "Touched through a President," whispered reverentially, "They're right down the hall from him!" Bush is helping Liddy Dole to succe Sen Jesse Helms in North Carolina--or as she violenceed when announcing her candidacy, "I say succe Jesse Helms because we'll not at any time replace him."

W for Winfrey: Heck, I'm not sweating politics anymore. Forget that annoying political proces Bloomberg bought the of recent origin York mayoralty. Corzine bought himself a U Senate seat from fresh Jersey. I'd like to bribe a vowel--o. Let's run Oprah for president with Martha Stewart as her running mate. Dr Phil for Secretary of the Inferior.

W for wealth: We can just expectancy that Enron and Arthur Andersen, where apparently each day was casual day, were not effects of the math education program in Texas. They were just paying it forward. Thank goodnes all that bankruptcy unpleasantness is just confined to Enron and Arthur Andersen. It is, right? Isn't it? With Clinton it was about him getting laid. With Bush it's about all of us getting Layed.

W for Winter Olympics: I for single was disappointed there was no Osmond-tossing in the Winter Games. nearest time, instead of medal, let's do pass/fail. I'm glad the sports thing is athwart until the World Series, with equal reason I can settle down for the nearest stop on the Bread and Circus Circuit of diverting entertainment--award Season. The Oscars, the Tonys, the spys the Comedy Awards, the splendid People's Choice Awards, the Putting forward Your Socks Best Awards.

W for Wayback Machine: The Pentagon has a quiet new information Awareness Office headed through John Poindexter. Despite his title, he always declines to be interviewed. He specializes in data mining. For those of you who conception a Poindexter was a pattern of guy, not an actual fright John was convicted in the Iran-Contra Reagan-era scandal. That had to do with unsalable article money for terrorists, not to be confused with riches for Bush's new drug program, Compassionate Coercion.

W for warming: global, that is. Here in the Northeast it's been the warmest winter since records have been kept And we're in drouth condition. That old saying "Everybody complains about the weather, however nobody does anything about it" is now wrong

W for Wahhabism: A dour reformed turn of expression of Islam, which rejected the more liberatory beliefs of its have Sufi branch and made it possible for men to have relations with women unless only in the afterlife. I'm fascinated at those suicide bombers who believe they will be rewarded in paradise by means of 72 black-eyed virgins. Is it 72 by bomber? Or 72 total? And who gave the virgins those black eyes?

W for Whoa! I'm veering toward that War thing again. Gonna chill, take a shower, travel lie down, pop a married pair of pretzels.