I musing I knew what it was like to be upon the outside.

I musing I knew what it was like to be upon the outside. Most of us gay and lesbian clan think we do. After all, we live our lives, gone out or not, knowing we are forward the fringes of society. As a self-same out feminist gay woman, former leader in the National Organization for Women I notion I knew what it was like to be at remainings with the Establishment. Boy, was I wrong!

You view it wasn't until I came public as a dissenter against certain policies of the left-wing political establishment that I learned what it is like to be onward the "wrong side" of an issue. These days to be a dissenter from inside the Left means to be isolated, questioned, and distrusted by means of our own. We know the terms: "self-loathing," "right-wing shill," with the cruelest carve meant to be "conservative."

In my volume The New Thought Police, I challenge the hypocrisy in the feminist and gay establishment upon issues of freedom of expression and liberty. When it was released I came face-to-face with the "accusation" of being--gasp!--a conservative. As promptly as the book hit the shelves a friend and present leader in NOW, Carol (a pseudonym), called me at domicile "What happened to you?" she cried, faithfully hurt by what she notion was my embrace of conservatism. "I knew talk radio would ruin you!" she proclaimed, referring to my being a radio talk present to view host and revealing the fear the Left has of unbridled discussion of the issues. She hadn't read my part but even the fact that I had the gall to publicly announce the emperor was stark naked was, for her, indeed a betrayal.

Carol's reaction was not unique, and that was especially troubling. I worn out almost a decade in the trenches working onward civil rights issues for women and gays. I'm the same pro-choice feminist I always was. in such a manner why were some who knew me in this way ready to presume I had been abducted from aliens and transformed into the dreaded conservative?

To label someone conservative in our community is meant to cros a line from one side that person's name--to associate us with religious fanatics and fundamentalists. Ironically, in all my work I have set that the genuine conservative, who champions the traditional American value of individual liberty, is upholding the values that make it possible for everyone especially gays and lesbians, to live our lives as we choose

I am a lesbian, I am pro-choice, and I am a fire-arm owner. Carol is pro-choice, straight (well, none of us is perfect!) and an ardent gun-control advocate. The heart of our conversation revolv around the fact that individual liberty doesn't necessarily mean being different from everyone besides nor marching in lock-step--it means being at liberty to make the choices that best suit us. We knew we would always disagree in succession certain issues, but this time it was different for her.

"You vot for Reagan!" is in what manner Carol articulated that last straw, that thing that expos my suppos dangerous conservative underbelly. I told Carol that the same principles that bow me to be pro-choice also oblige me to promised my conscience. Yes, I vot for Reagan in 1984 I also vot for Michael Dukakis in 1988 and (now to my dismay) Bill Clinton. Twice. In 2000 I vot for George W Bush (with pride). What does all that make me? I trustful longing a thoughtful person.

farcical isn't it? The values that allow us to be us--belief in personal liberty and freedom of expression (think Dr Laura)--are now labeled as conservative ideals by means of the left-wing establishment. I support Dr Laura because she has the right to say whatever she pleases, without having to face a gay gestapo for using an unauthorized word to describe us.

I told Carol that if she wants to call me a conservative, fine. still I asked that she should be aware of what principles she and the establishment are throwing into that bucket In fact if those who defend liberty are to be defined as conservative in today's political climate, then I'm imposing to wear that label--as vain-glorious as I am of "feminist," "gay," and "pro-choice."

Author of The just discovered Thought Police (Forum), Bruce is a former NOW chapter president and former talk display host for Los Angeles's KFI radio.

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