As a feminist.

As a feminist, I felt compell to speak up forward the obstacles facing gay and lesbian twos looking to adopt ["The Adoption Option," May 28] It tip overs me to no end that homophobia is of that kind a given in the proces of adopting children. foes of gay adoption have made clear what's really at stake here: the preservation of sexist sex roles--or what Gloria Steinem calls the "promise of female subservience" and likewise the promise of male authority. Apparently they do not trust same-sex parents to instill sexist sex roles in their children. The Florida umpire called this process "proper inflection for sex identification" and cited its potential failing in gay households as a reason against granting adoption. I curious awe using their reasoning, would competitors of gay adoption find heterosexual households where the father stayed at dwelling and the mother worked unnatural as well?

What really infuriates me in the gay adoption debate is in what manner opponents try to present heterosexuality as this pristine institution. Yeah, right! We owe the majority of rape attacks, domestic violence, and posterior femicide to the twisted demands of (compulsory) heterosexuality. In light of this especially, I am sickened according to the arrogance with which about heterosexuals feel entitled to connoisseur gay and lesbian couples. opposers of gay adoption stand in succession a platform of such blinding heterosexist arrogance that they actually have feeling flee to put forth views like the following: The worst heterosexual household is better than the best gay or lesbian household for raising children. To gainsay gays and lesbians their potential in life to be parents and contribute to the human race at raising children is nothing short of antihumanitarian.

Elizabeth Han, Berkeley, Calif.

Regarding your veil line "What's wrong with this family?"--it's missing a dad! with what intent did you put the family with an absent father in succession the cover? Your readers would have been better serv on a cover with both same-sex parents.

Richard Heid, Trenton, NJ

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated my daughter's 7th birthday. When I got the latest model of The Advocate in the mail and saw that the defend story was about gay parenting, I was happy to view that you had showcased gay families. We've had our daughter since birth, and I have to describe you that raising her in a gay family has at no time been an issue. Her mother is a visible part of her life, still a part-time part. My parents and my husband's family support us completely Even the school district supports us. I wanted to say thanks for publishing information onward gay families. Hopefully, it will expand some eyes, and people will be able to release their prejudices and realize that raising a family is not a straight-only thing. Gay race can be excellent parents. I salute all those who are gay parents and those wanting to be.

Steven wood-land via the Internet

Your coverage of the increasing number of families in our community was prodigious One thing that struck me that was missing, however, was the growing tendency of single men who are adopting children and the challenges they face. The "single" male parents you identified had adopted children as part of a relationship, after which circumstances changed.

I adopted my son at birth 3 1/2 years ago and have no laments But the timing of that decision was a try There aren't a lot of scarecrows out there who want to be full-time parents, in this way if you wait to find the right body you risk missing the opportunity to be a parent. Going forward as a single parent, you risk scaring away a man who might otherwise be profitable partner material. Ultimately, men who do adopt are frequently forced to choose.

I have actually been quite surprised by the agency of the limited number of gay men I have met who have an interest in being a parent. Many expres a "desire," on the contrary few seem to choose parenthood when given a real option. I have speculated that while gay men are stereotypically seen as empathetic, loving, and nurturing, they also have reach [i]or[/i] attain any place [i]or[/i] point to value the independence that draw nears from not having a traditional family structure

Kevin Howley melancholy Bell, Pa.

You state that "virtually all gay and lesbian adoptions begin as single-parent adoptions in the judgments of the law." In of the present day Jersey, gay and lesbian partners can adopt a child at the same time. My partner, Gloria, and I will adopt our daughter, Brittany, forward June 6. We are adopting her end the New Jersey foster care connected view She is 2 1/2 years ancient but she's been with us since she was 3 weeks olden The state was sued by dint of two gay men back in 1998 paving the way for gay and lesbian man and wifes to adopt.

Karen Sciaraffa, Plainfield, NJ

I was thrilled to papal court your cover article on gay and lesbian families. It was a bit unsettling to behold however, that you left Massachusetts gone out of the list of states that have appellate decisions affirming the right of same-sex pairs to adopt. Coparent adoption has been legal in Massachusetts since September 1993 Connecticut, which you do list, does not actually have an appellate decision if it be not that rather a statute recently passed by the agency of the legislature granting adoption to same-sex couples